A CONVERSATION WITH A RANDOM TEXTER

Recently I got a random text from a random lady. The rest is epic awesome history. Check it out below:

-Ed.

GO

Sometimes you find tranquility in the strangest places.

I recently joined a local chat group designed for organizing Pokémon GO players. To be honest, the whole thing overwhelmed me. Thousands of messages, photographs and links about the game were shared in this group on a daily basis. Endless meetings, discussions, and strategies flashed in front of my eyes before I could process the last one I just received. All I wanted to do was play a game that reminded me of my childhood. Now it felt like homework.

Since childhood, I’ve always liked riding solo. It saved me from getting tangled in any drama, and the freedom allowed me to make swift decisions. However, this particular game was one that disallowed that type of attitude. So reluctantly, I went to one of the meet ups, or “raids”, as it was termed in the game. I fully expected to meet some strange characters.

That’s when I found tranquility.

The people I met were not misfits or outcasts. Hell, they weren’t even children. They were people from all walks of life and all cultural backgrounds. They were professionals, parents and peers. It was evident that these weren’t individuals that typically find themselves next to each other. Yet they were unified, and what brought them together was not some revolutionary principle, but a silly goal of catching a digitally generated graphic. During these divisive times, this gathering was a stark reminder that human condition is a shared experience. We have always been one. There was peace in all this silliness.

I went to a second gathering recently. I fully expected no one to know me due to my initial reluctance to engage, but to my surprise, one of the chat room moderators recognized me and my return.

”It’s nice to see you again, Ed.” he said.

And off we went, to catch yet another Pokémon.

-Ed. 

DISENGAGED

I was told by a colleague today I should speak up more.

“You seem disengaged.” He said.

To be honest, I have been told this all my life, by my teachers, my professors, and my employers. Most of the time, I choose to ignore it or share this remark with my family. This very day, however, I decided to respond.

“Have you ever been to Taiwan?” I asked.

Looking puzzled, he said no.

So this is what I said to him, and I will say it to you now, because I believe it’s important that you know.

If you have traveled to Taiwan, or you have met people from Taiwan, you will notice an inherent sense of kindness among us. We are helpful, we are genuine, and we are sincere. However, our kindness is not a gift that was given to us. It is not a moral law. It is not a social doctrine.

Our kindness is a product of oppression.

We are witnesses to foreign occupation, threats of military invasion, economic sanctions and global political discrimination. Our agony can be heard in our songs. Our struggles can be read in our poetry. Our heartbreak can be seen in our art. We are kind because we know what it is like to be oppressed. Our kindness is a reflection of our pain.

We are a people who don’t have much. Oppressors have the privilege of endless consultations, negotiations and discussions. Survivors do not have that luxury. So when you say I am disengaged, and I have been told this all my life, by my teachers, my professors, and my employers, you need to look closer. You will see that I am listening. I am listening for the effective time to speak. I am listening for the right moment to be involved. I am listening for survival. Because for us, all we have are our words, and every single syllable counts.  

I can see my colleague mouthing the word “but” for a potential rebuttal, and I ended the possibilities of that happening by walking away. It is funny how people want me to speak up, but when I do, they don’t listen.

Yet I am the one disengaged.

-Ed.

TONIGHT SHOW TWEET

Well, I'm definitely going to get a few phone calls for this tweet.

-Ed.

THE ANGELA SAGA

As some of you may know, I often talk on stage about a situation of mistaken identity where someone thought I was a woman named Angela. For those who may not remember, the bit is as follows:

Now although this joke was in reference to a true event, I haven't really thought much about it in the last while. 

Until this happened.

For the past year, I have been receiving emails from my car dealership confirming my maintenance services with them. These are typically customer service oriented emails that look like this very last one I received: 

Now some of you may be wondering why the hell I am bringing this up. Well, here is the weird part. I have been receiving these emails at the rate of once per month. In other words, in the past 12 months. I have received 12 separate emails from Hyundai confirming my car maintenance service appointments. Everything seems normal, right?

Except I have only serviced my car twice in the last 12 months. 

This means I have been receiving somebody else's service confirmations, and whoever this person is, he or she has been fixing their car like crazy.  What I also noticed, is that 10 out these 12 emails included an email address that was definitely not mine. So I decided to give Hyundai a call. This was what transpired in my call over the weekend:

Hyundai Rep: "Thank you for calling Hyundai, how may I be of service?"

Me: "Hi, it's Ed calling here. I think I have been receiving someone else's service emails for the past year. Can you double check?"

Hyundai Rep: "Sure, I will look into that. Your account appears to only have one email. *states email address*. Is this address correct?"

Me: "Yes. But I've been getting emails addressed to this email address also *states email address*. Can you double check this person's account to see if they have my email under their file?"

Hyundai Rep: "Let me take a look. Ah, you're right, your email is showing up under another customer's account. I don't know how this happened. I am truly sorry and I will correct it right now. "

Me: "Not a problem. Thank you for fixing it. Do you know why this happened?"

Hyundai Rep: "I am not sure. Maybe it is because this customer is a regular at our location. We see her all the time."

Me: "Interesting. By the way, does she have a similar name to mine? Is that how the mix up happened?"

Hyundai Rep: "I don't believe so."

Me: "That's so weird. I am just curious, what is her name?"

Hyundai Rep: "Angela."

Sometimes my life is so weird I don't even know where to begin.

-Ed.

NO ENGLISH

This is the best worst way to get out of any conversation.

-Ed.